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Leadership
So,
Erin, Bob and Ninah want me to apply for this Leadership Training
Weekend, which seems like it could be fun even though I'm sure I've
heard it all before- not because I'm a prideful bitch (which I am, but
not in this instance), but because I feel like I have gone to ten
thousand of these " Leadership Training Session(s)/Weekend(s)/Week(s)".
Anyways,
they asked me to consider it, and I think some of the other students in
the OSL (Office of Student Life) could use some sense kicked into them
(i.e. learning to not be inefficient). So, I think I will apply. I
don't see why I wouldn't be selected (again not being prideful here)
since I'm female (women are not a minority, dammit), a leader in the
gay community, a leader in the faith community, and a racial minority
to boot, and since they say that they "value" diversity, I think I
might have this one in the bag. (That was half sarcastic)
One of
the questions on the application, however, made me stop and think for a
minute. Well, I actually mis-read the question. It was "what do you
consider good leadership"? Somehow, in my twisted mind, I read, "what
makes a leader?"
I look back on my life, on my
"accomplishments", on my resume, and I think I finally know. A leader
is the regular ol' joe who got fed up. In high school, I started my
High School's debate team. Sometimes I wonder why I did it. I went to a
couple tournaments as a freshman. I loved them. They were thrilling
equivalents of the argument olympics. It was an opportunity to argue
with someone for fun, and be rewarded when I kicked their "stoopid
bootays". It made me feel good about myself. So I decided to share that
with people. I argued with countless administrators and teachers, and
finally found someone who would lend me a classroom.
I was told,
by many of the teachers, that no student had successfully formed a
competitive team, sports or academic. Whatever, I said, "I want to
debate, and I want to let others debate, so suck it up."
Now,
two years after I left high school, the Horace Greeley Debate Team is
going strong. They are regulars at the New York State Championships and
at national competitions. Next year, my "little sister" Shaina is
expected to go to the Tournament of Champions. And it was because I was
fed up with people telling me to give up, to switch to academic
challenge or science olympiad, that it was impossible. I was fed up
with people saying "No" to me.
The rest, one might say, is history.
As
I began to understand my sexuality, my church told me "No". My pastor
told me "No" and my friends told me "No". They told me that I could not
be gay, that it was something I had to fight, like it was an addiction.
They told me to pray to be delivered from this sin. Well, you know
what, I got fed up.
Once I was out, my church told me "No" again. They said I couldn't be gay and Christian. They said both were mutually exclusive.
But
there was more, I began to realize that sometimes, when someone gets
fed up, instead of becoming leaders, they become corpses.
Kids
were killing themselves because they were told that being gay was a
sin, that is was sick, that is was a fatal flaw. Parents were kicking
their own children on the streets to fend for themselves in an unloving
world. That young men and women, ostracized by society turned to drugs,
alcohol and anonymous sex to dull the pain they felt inside. There are
those who are fed up with society telling them they are perverts, so
they decide to prove society right.
A young man is called a
"sissy" by his father, a "sinner" by his mother, an "abomination" by
his church, a "fag" by his classmates, and a "pervert" by his teacher.
In a fit of rage and pain, he gives himself away and becomes all those
things they called him. During the day, he works at a retail clothing
store, or, if he's lucky, finds a sugar daddy. At night, he finds the
nearest bath house, dopes up on meth, and bare-backs the nights away. A
few years later, he is a husk of a person, AIDS eating away his body,
unable to afford the medicine that Medicare doesn't cover.
I
read about a young man who lived his life in the Church of Latter Day
Saints. He loved God, and Jesus, and tried with all his might to be an
image of God. He tried everything to rid him of his "diseased"
sexuality. In the end, he shot himself on the steps of the church he
loved so much, writing that, in death, he was "finally free".
I
have met a young woman whose mother and father have disowned because
she loves other women. She had taught underpriviledged children in
India, she had been accepted to an Ivy League University, and she was a
faithful member of the Roman Catholic Church. When she could no longer
hide her identity from the world, her parents discarded their gem of a
daughter. She now works minimum wage jobs just so she can pay the rent.
I am fed up.
I
am fed up of the world saying "No" to these people. I am fed up with
the abuse the "justice system" heaps upon gay and lesbian couples. I am
fed up with bigots hurling hatred at those most in need of love, in the
name of Jesus Christ. I am fed up with churches slamming their doors
shut in the faces of loving families whose only crime is that the
children have two mommies, or two daddies. I am fed up with the words
hurled at children in middle school: "Fag!" "Dyke!" I am fed up with
all of it.
I am fed up that a First Lieutenant in the United
States Army who is decorated with a Purple Heart is encouraged to die
for her country, but is dishonorably discharged if she displays a
photograph of her girlfriend.
I am fed up that a gay man who has
lost his husband to cancer after 55 years of faithful marriage cannot
collect survivor benefits because the state considers those 55 years of
sancitifed love as invalid.
I am fed up that a murderer can receive a reduced sentence by claiming his victim was "a fag, and he was coming on to me".
I
am fed up with churches defrocking those people who pledged their lives
to serve God simply because they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or
transgender.
I am fed up with a society where a man feels compelled to beat his child to death so the child will not grow up to be gay.
I
am fed up that a 14 year old boy put a bullet through his head because
his family told him that it was better that he was dead than gay.
I don't want this job. I
want someone else to do this work. I want some fairy to come and wave a
magic wand and make all the injustice disappear. I want someone
stronger, smarter, and more experienced to right all these wrongs.
The wrongs remain.
And so, I lead.
"The only way for evil to triumph is if good men do nothing." -Edmund Burke | | |
| You can find my blog here: http://romans-6-14.blogspot.com/
Check it out.
I will be double posting here and on blogger for a while so everyone can get used to it.
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| These rules are dedicated to Alex, Kay, John, and everyone else I ever
met in my entire life. Actually, for simplicity's sake, these
rules are dedicated to everyone.
Rules for Families, Part One:
1- "all unhappy families are unhappy in different ways." -Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
2- All members of said family are to be certifiably insane when talking to other members of the family group.
3- Everyone's mother and/or mother-in-law is insane. Period. No exceptions.
4- Every person must have completely unrealistic expectations with regards to their family members or family as a whole.
5-
Every other person in the family is to blame for everything wrong with
the family. If unable to understand this, everything wrong with the
family is your fault. Many mothers choose the latter. | | |
| I'm doing a little bit better, but I think I might start switching over
to blogger. My idiot boi is doing it, and it is a little bit
easier for everyone- i.e. you can comment on it without being a blogger
member or whatever. I'll start double posting when it's up so all
of you regulars can check out what I've got to say.
My kitty is being super cute. 
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| I am sick as a dog. I swear I have not felt this horrible in
MONTHS! I am congested, I feel like the world is spinning, I'm
constantly swinging between sweating like crazy and chills, and I am as
coherent as a green bean.
Plus, I have no air conditioning- well, I do, but it's almost completely inaffective.
I feel like crud. 
Gonna go get some nyquil. Peace, kids, and if I'm still like this
in a week, someone please just shoot me and put me out of my misery.
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